Big things!

I realize this is a long post, but when I was going through my journal and trying to decide what I wanted to include, I had a hard time leaving out a lot of it. So, you get A LOT!

Some of you have heard me express lately that my coping mechanism for dealing with emotion is out of whack. I’ve been known lately, and on a very regular basis, to cry at Progressive commercials (most people find Flo humorous…she brings me to tears), if my children don’t obey (because I think I’m failing as a mother) and if my husband doesn’t make eye contact with me at least…oh….100 times per day. In fact, one day last week, I was convinced that we were headed for divorce because he had forgotten to call or text me all day! The thought never crossed my mind that he may have just been busy doing his ‘job.’

To top it off, Nate must have decided this year that a good present to his parents would be that we develop a close and intimate relationship with the school administration at East Elementary!

For someone who was having difficulty coping with the little things, the big things that have been going on in our life right now were close to putting me over the edge. I joked (but it may not have been so funny) that if things got worse for me, emotionally, I’d be spending Thanksgiving in a mental institution.

When our friends Rob and Lisa, suggested that we go to a couples retreat at Miracle Camp, in Lawton Michigan, for an ENTIRE weekend, we were on board! The thought of having two entire nights of uninterrupted sleep was thrilling. Well, at least not an interruption of a child screaming for Mom or Dad in the middle of the night or waking up at 2 a.m. and finding that the kids had apparently forgotten they had a room of their own and turned the floor of our bedroom into one large pallet.

It may have been because I was so focused on the actual ‘getting away from home’ or because so much of coordinating the weekend was done by someone else, but until the beginning of our first session on Friday night, I had no idea that the focus would be on marriage AND PARENTING! At that point, we opened our mind and hearts and followed the lead of the One in charge. Big things were about to happen!

Rob said in his blog this week that, “The staff and volunteers serve you as an extension of the love that Christ shares.” You know what? That was the main lesson that I walked away with this weekend. The people who work at this camp are helping to provide an awesome experience for their guests. I had a terrible cold this weekend, which I think was a result of my emotional over load the past several weeks, and without me asking, one of the staff members went into town to get me some cold meds. I almost cried when she handed it to me (surprise, right?). It wasn’t too long before I made the connection with the way that the staff was treating their guests and the way that I treat my kids. Christ’s love? Not sure that I was doing my best to show that to my kids (at least not all of the time). I surely don’t want to show them this love when their terrorizing each other, running and screaming all over the house and when I want to lock them in a closet. Big things were happening.

On top of the spiritual and emotional growth that was happening for us, I was not preparing meals, only fixing 1 plate at each meal, experienced the zip line, high ropes, archery, trap, fellowship with some AMAZING people, and we also got to enjoy the extra hour of sleep that the time change gifted us on Sunday morning!

While on the platform of the high ropes, scared like I have never been before, we were trying to decide which way to go next. Another couple was finishing up their first attempt ands the woman said to me, “You can do this. Keep your eyes up.” I’ve thought of her words a least 100 times since that afternoon…some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten. Big things were happening.

So, we headed home with all of these great new ideas and concepts on how to better parent out kids, according to scripture. My friend Erin said, “What are you gonna do? We’re going home different and the kids will still be the same?” We thought about it and decided that a family meeting was appropriate. First off, when we told the kids we were having a family meeting, Nate started dancing around the room. It was like he was saying, “Yeah, my parents want to become better parents and we need this, too!” We told them why we were making some changes and the response was positive. I think things have changed, too. I realize that we’re still in the honeymoon phase, but we have 5 other couples to help keep us in check! Nate even noticed that things had been different and referred to our family as the ‘before retreat’ and ‘after retreat.’ Big things are happening.

Thank you to Carol and my mom to taking care of our little chickadees while we were away. It was easy to enjoy ourselves knowing they were being take care of by people that love them!

Lisa took a video of me on the high ropes. If she gets it to me, I'll post it! I'm not embarrassed easily, and I'm like my son, I enjoy making others laugh!

Good morning, Sunshine! Thanks, Rob, for taking this picture!

Sunrise over Lake Bankson - Lawton, MI

On another note, we had some family pictures taken a few weeks ago and before posting them, I had to decide which one we were going to use for our Christmas card. Here are just a few of my favorites.

On the afternoon that these were taken, I got the kids ready first and put a video on for them, bribing them carmel corn if they stayed still and clean until I got dressed. I went into the bedroom wearing jammie pants, a tank top and my hair in a towel. I came out wearing makeup and clothes that didn't have food or snot on them. Gabe wouldn't stop looking at me. When Matt walked in, he said, "Dad, did you see mom?" I guess it's pretty rare that they see me looking that nice :)

I love the way Adri is looking at Matt in this picture. Too bad the rest of us aren't looking the right way!

Have a great weekend!

Correction

Correction: it was Cathy Rigby the gymnast!

Cathy Rigby Commercial

Like Mother Like Son

I’ve been told that as a child, I had a tendency to sit down whatever was in my hand when I spotted something else more interesting. I think a lot of kids do this. My parents would often find my toys in strange places. Once, I was holding our poodle, Shelly, and decided to get a snack out of the refrigerator. Later that day, my mom found Shelly on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator, shaking. Who knows how long she’d been there.

In the early 80’s, there was a commercial on, staring an Olympic runner. She was promoting the newest maxi pads. It was about this time that my parents found me putting maxi pads in my tennis shoes because I thought they’d make me run faster!

My mom used to tell me that I’d get payback, as a mother, for all of the headache that I caused my parents. I didn’t believe her until after Gabriel was born. I should have known that parenting him would be a glimpse into the life of my parents when I was young. He wasn’t even 10 months old (barely walking) when I found him sneaking into the refrigerator to steal a push up. There was also the time that I found him hoarding Smarties in the grill under the refrigerator and in his toy box so that he’d have a stash of candy for when he got a craving and we said no. He also thinks that he can read Keely’s mind and until recently, referred to himself as Gabriel Dufus Martin. His middle name is Joseph and he’s named after my very spirited Great Uncle Joe. Watch out who you name your kids after! Just kidding!

I have no idea why Matt and I were so surprised when a few weeks ago, he exited the bathroom, screaming and shaking with fear, because he thought he’d seen a lobster in the toilet. For the next week or so, he would only potty outside and would stand to poop. The most logical way for us to help him overcome this fear was teach him all we could about how impossible it would be for a lobster to live in our toilet. We spent a lot time talking about how lobsters and crabs only live near the ocean or at the beach, unless they are a pet, and how they’re more afraid of us than we are of them. We rented books from the library and even watched a documentary on animals that live at the beach. Matt even went as far as to give Gabe a lesson in the process of how our septic system works.

He started asking for a pet lobster and we decided that hermit crabs would be a good birthday present for him. In just a few days he was taking them out of their cage and letting them crawl all over his room and all over his hands and arms. The fear of using the toilet was also subsiding. Last week, we made our weekly grocery trip to Meijer and after one look at those lobsters in the seafood department; his fear was back in full force again. He’s still not afraid of Crabby and Frosty the hermit crabs, but is afraid of something coming up through the pipes and biting his privates went he’s on the toilet.

I don’t think I’m afraid of anything….except snakes, being in an ocean or lake when I can’t see my feet, ferris wheels and losing my kids in a public place. Okay, maybe a few things, and if can’t get over my fears, then I guess I can’ t blame Gabe for his. When I don’t know what to do about something we’re struggling with, I hand it over and stop worrying about it. I know it will pass.

“I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).

So, here’s to lots of accidents because he holds it in when he has to potty, lots more reading and talking about how LOBSTERS DO NOT LIVE IN OUR TOILETS, LOTS OF PRAYER AND PATIENCE, and a really good story to tell him when he brings home his first girlfriend!

Some of our Fall/Halloween activities

Family Day last week: Matt took the day off and we went to a pumpkin patch and spent the day enjoying the beautiful fall weather. The kids were tired from all of the festivities so they had to ride the wagon to pick their pumpkins!

I'll keep the comment Matt made when I took this picture to myself!

This is Gabe's most wonderful class! Because of the most awesome Miss Nancy, I got to go with Gabe's class to the pumpkin patch last week, too! Aren't they cute?

Happy Halloween!

Spider!

While searching for Halloween costumes on the internet and in a magazine, Adri informed me that she didn't like any of the ones we saw, so she decided to create her own costume. She said, "I'm a silly princess!" She did a good job!

Mario! This is the first year that Nate didn't think it was too cool that we don't 'buy' our costumes. We use what we've got or I copy something that we find. Personally, I think this Mario is way cooler than the $40 ones we saw at the costume store! Nate later informed me that he noticed how original his costume was. "I saw a lot of Marios out there and no one had one like mine. I guess that makes mine even more special!" He's so awesome! It took a while, but he came around!

Matt and I are off this weekend to a marriage retreat in southern Michigan. Right now, the weather looks good up there and we all seem to be getting over our bug. Thank you and good luck, Mom, for taking on the challenge of caring for these monsters all weekend!