Just another day in paradise

I suspect it was a man who came up with the estimated annual salary for a stay at home mom…just shy of $135,000. I’ll be honest, when I came across that number just a few months ago, I couldn’t help but laugh. Are you kidding me? I just saw an ad in the paper for a veterinarian at an animal hospital in Indianapolis with a salary of $140,000! Is one of the requirements for this vet job to be on call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year? No? Well, that is a requirement for this mom and I’m sure many others. Don’t we get overtime for that? Although I didn't actually recieve a college degree in motherhood, I do get on the job training and my position requires much more knowledge and know how than a vet (at least I think it does). Now, I realize that I signed up for this job…but only $135,000? Is that all I’m worth?

I’m up before the kids, unless the baby wakes me earlier than 6:15. If that’s the case, I start the day nursing my bundle of joy with my eyes closed and before my morning coffee. I think she understands and usually cooperates by going back to sleep, at least until her brothers rise. I shower and put on my clothes, which usually consist of some kind of stretchy pants or shorts and a tank top or t-shirt. Most days I do put on some make-up, acknowledging that if I didn’t, I may scare the kids with my ghostly complexion. Next up…make coffee for me and prepare breakfast for the boys. Right about this time, Gabe is heading downstairs to tell me that his night light turned off and it’s time to wake up Nate. He insists on being the one to break the news to his big brother that the pleasure of snuggling in his bed must end…it’s time to get ready for school. I usually spend 25 of the next 30 minutes convincing Nate that he must eat something before going to school or he’ll be hungry all morning. I then spend the next 5 minutes encouraging him to QUICKLY get dressed, brush his teeth and put on his shoes. All the while quizzing him on spelling words. As Nate runs out the door to catch the bus at the end of our driveway, I yell something like, “Make good choices,” or “remember the golden rule,” (If you know Nate, you know why I can’t remind him of these things enough) and finish with an even louder, “I love you,” as the bus doors close.

Right about this time, Adrianna is waking up, (for the second time) and Gabe is insisting on watching a Curious George cartoon. I turn on the cartoon for Gabe and head upstairs. What? Gabe changed his mind…no surprise. “I want to open da door,” he says as he realizes that I’m about to get Adrianna. He quickly runs ahead of me and shouts, “Good morneeen suga!” He barges in and blinds her by turning on the lights. Soon, diaper #2 has been changed and nursing session #2 is over. Finally, I get to drink my coffee. Nope! “Mom, I’m done,” Gabe calls from the bathroom. I was so close.

The next four hours consist of laundry, cleaning up from breakfast, quarrelling with Gabe about how he won’t be cold if he’ll put on something besides underwear, playing a few board games, trains, and monster trucks, singing silly songs and being the voice of a stuffed animal for Adrianna, and changing another diaper. I fix chicken nuggets, yogurt, and a banana for Gabe’s lunch, tell him 10 times to sit down until he’s done, spoon feed Adrianna some rice cereal, clean off two faces and four hands, wipe off the counter and highchair, load the dishwasher, change another diaper and nurse Adrianna…AGAIN! One kid in bed, one to go! I threaten Gabe to potty one last time so that I don’t have to spend the evening washing sheets, or he won’t get a rocket ship ride up to bed, and after a few stories and a 15 minute conversation about why he has to have quiet time when it’s not dark, the house is finally quiet. I know I have at least one hour before the noise level rises again.

I switch the laundry, straighten up the living room, have a quick lunch, check my e-mail to see if Nate’s been in trouble at school, let the dog out, decide whether to clean out or throw away the sippy cup I just found in the toy box that’s have full of milk (I have no idea how long it’s been in there), choose what to make for dinner, put away some clothes and then call Matt. Finally…some adult conversation. “How’s your day?” he asks. “Fine,” I say. “How’s yours?” “Busy,” he adds. “I made an appointment to take my car in for an oil change tonight after work. I won’t be home until 8:30. Okay?” I want to scream at him and tell him that I may already be in a state of withdrawal from lack of adult interaction by that time, but instead, I say, “Okay,” with a little frustration in my voice. We hang up and I change my mind about dinner. How about pancakes for the kids? If I drench them in peanut butter and syrup, I won't have to argue with either one of them about taking, "just 3 more bites." I put on my tennis shoes and start my work out. After about 5 minutes, Adrianna is crying and Gabe wakes up.

Shortly after, Nate’s off the bus and informs me that he got an orange card today because someone told on him for something he didn’t do. “You didn’t do it?” I just want to make sure I heard him correctly. “Well, I did do it, but Jack was doing it, too.” Of course…how did I know? After a quick snack, we spend the next two hours doing homework, reading and practicing spelling words. I spend 1 ½ of those two hours convincing Nate that he won’t die writing his spelling words 3 times each. All the while, Adrianna is playing on the floor, finding every little hot wheel tire and micro machine. Why can’t that kid just stay on the blanket? Gabe also adds to the chaos by wanting me to carry every toy we have from his room down to the living room, which only reminds me that we still haven’t sold our house and are at least 6 months away from being in our new home. “Oh no!” Gabe yells. “Adwianna poopied on the flooo!” I guess she gets a new diaper and new clothes. Oh well. It was time to get her out of her jammies, anyway!

After feeding Adrianna again and another diaper change, I get dinner together, get the boys fed, clean up, load the dishwasher, switch the laundry, clean peanut butter off of the kitchen wall, play UNO, Candyland, trains, and fire trucks with the boys, pretend to be The Cookie Monster, and dance around the house to the ABC song, If you’re happy and you know it, and This old man, all while carrying around a 22 pound 7 month old. I console my 3 year old after falling, busting his lip and biting his tongue, all while his nose is gushing. I help the boys take a bath, give Adrianna hers in the sink, and get everyone in their PJ’s. I read two stories to the kids, listen to Nate read a story to us, have another 10 minute debate with Gabe about why it’s bedtime, talk to Nate about why it’s important to obey and be respectful (we have this discussion often) and then, finally, Matt's home to save the day. Luckily, he helps me get the boys to bed. I do get to watch a DVR’d episode of Oprah while nursing Adrianna, AGAIN, and then, get her to bed.

I finish the day by laying out clothes for the kids and making sure Nate’s folder, book order and library book are in his backpack. I then clear a path from my bedroom to the living room and Adrianna’s bedroom in case I have to get up in the middle of the night. I don’t want to step on a Thomas train or monster truck while getting up for a 3 am feeding. Which reminds me, “God, please help Adrianna to sleep all night.” I go wash my face, brush my teeth, and lay down on the couch. That’s the last thing I remember before Matt waking me up about eleven and saying, “Let’s go to bed.” I stagger into the bedroom, get under the covers and am excited about the next 7 hours. “Amanda, Adrianna is crying.” “Crap!” I guess it will have to be 6 ½ hours of sleep. When she wakes up again at 3:30, I realize that 6 ½ was just wishful thinking…it will have to be 6 hours of sleep…in two shifts!

I have to argue with whoever came up with that $135,000 salary estimation for a stay at home mom. That dollar amount is not only a joke because of the amount of work I did as a housekeeper, a cook, a nurse, a teacher, and a friend. That amount seems incredibly low because my compensation is worth so much more. I was there to hear Gabe tell me that I was his best friend and I didn’t have to miss Adrianna sitting up on her own for the first time from a crawling position (a big milestone in my opinion). I was also there to talk with Nate right after he got home from school, when the day was still fresh in his mind. He told me about playing the Wii with the principal, being the line leader on the way to lunch and building a house with magnets during indoor recess. I was there for every smile, laugh, tear, milestone, and even every argument between the boys. I couldn’t imagine a more perfect day. My kids are healthy, happy, and I got to spend my entire day with them. Also, my husband is loving, respectful, and hard working! Does it get any better? I think there is a song that describes my frenzied, unorganized, must be a hidden camera somewhere, life…Just another day in paradise.



By the way, I'm putting all this together in the middle of the night...the only time it's quiet and I can sit still for more than 5 minutes! Why can't I sleep?

Who put dat dare?

We were cleaning up Nate and Gabe's room a little this morning and found something that didn't belong in the Hot Wheels bin...a sippy cup! Immediately, I began to pray that it didn't have anything in it. My prayers were answered! There's nothing like finding a long lost sippy cup with spoiled milk in it!

Gabe quickly said, "Who put dat dare?"

"It was probably you, Gabe. Isn't that your cup?"

"No. Dats Nate's cup. I allllllllllways put mine in da sink when I done."

Knowing he was trying to put the blame on his brother, I decided to push the issue a little further.

"Nate doesn't drink out of cups like this, Gabe. Are you sure it was him that left it here?"

"Yep." He insisted, "I allllllllways put mine in da sink when I'm done."

"Okay. I'll have a talk with Nate when he gets home about leaving his cups around the house."

I could see the guilt beginning to surface, but still, Gabe stuck to his story.

We came downstairs and were playing trains on the living room floor. Just under the edge of the couch was another sippy cup! I couldn't wait to see what Gabe had to say about that!

"Gabe, look! Nate left another cup on the floor. I think maybe since he's not being responsible, he should lose some priveleges."

"Mom?" There was no hiding the guilt now. I just knew he was going to tell me the truth.

"I don't tink dat Nate should woose his pwiveges. He not do it on poorpus."

"Well, if he tells me the truth about forgetting to put his cups in the sink and he promises to try not to do it again, he won't lose any priveleges," I said.

"Mom?" The confession was coming. "Dis cup was mine, not Nate's. I sorry I weft my cup on da foor."

"What about the cup upstairs?" I questioned.

"Nate should still woose his pwiveges for dat!"

Poopy Machine

I announced to Gabe this morning that I was going to get Adrianna out of her bed. He insists that I tell him because he likes opening the door and being the first one to give her a good morning kiss and say, "Good morning suga!"

I followed up this morning with, "I smell poopy. Who's a little poopy making machine?"

Gabe said, "Mommy, Adwianna a baby, not a poopy machine."

"Yes, I know Gabe. I was just being silly. I said that because she always has poopy in her diaper."

He added, "Not always, Mommy...sometimes she smells like potty and dat don't stink as bad!"

I can't wait to share this stuff with him when he's older!

SOME FUN VIDEOS

This whole thing started with me trying to be funny by drawing an upside down face on my chin with a marker, which by the way, I didn't check first to make sure it was washable! One thing led to another and before we knew it, Nate was hanging upside down on the couch with two eyes and a nose stuck to his chin with scotch tape!

He's still talking about it today. He wants to do this at the next talent show. "What talent show?" I asked. "The one we're going to have at my birthday party." "Nate, that's still 6 months away." "That's okay because I'll have lots of time to practice. No, that's just weird...I don't need any more practice!"



I just love the way that the boys can make Adrianna laugh!

CHRISTMAS 2009

As I sit here and plan in my mind how exactly this post will go, I feel a sadness. I wish I could look over and see my kitty asleep in the rocker or feel her weaving in and out of my feet, but earlier this week, her life ended. She had been sick for a few months now and wasn't getting better. We made the difficult decision to put her out of her pain. Matt and I talked to the boys and explained to them that because she was sick and couldn't get better, she was going to die. Just before Matt took her to the vet's office, they sat on the floor next to her, stroked her fluffy coat one last time, and said their goodbyes. They didn't cry, but I did. The next day Gabe asked where the kitty was. I reminded him that she died and didn't live with us anymore. He said, "That makes my heart hurt." I told him, "Mine, too." Although difficult, I am grateful for the lesson that came out of the situation. It opened up doors to have conversations and answer questions that the boys had that may not have come up otherwise. I'm relieved that what we've taught them about dying doesn't scare them. They know that after death, there is peace.

Thank you, Phoebe (aka Key Key), for the devotion. We miss you already!

********************************************************

Saying I was anxious for the Christmas celebrations to begin is an understatement! Matt spent 2 weeks in Japan for work and arrived back on the 11th of December. I refused to think too much about Christmas until our whole family was together!

The weeks he was gone were hard. Taking care of the kids and keeping up with the house were no different, but come the end of the day when the house was quiet, I missed my husband! Our chats were short due mostly to the time difference and a few of them ended with me in tears...not necessarily because I missed him, but because I realized how much responsibility he has around here and how little I know about what he does for us! Ironically, that's a lesson that I've been wanting him to learn for years! I had to pay the surveyor who's been working on the land we're buying and the architect who's working on our house plans; and the bank wouldn't let me move money from our savings to checking account without a 'special' code. When I called to find out what the code was, they said they couldn't give it to me without the 'special' code! Are you kidding me? "That's why I'm calling," I told the manager. After giving her a sob story about how I was taking care of 3 kids alone because my husband, who usually handles things like this, was out of the country, my father in law had just had open heart surgery, my 6 month old had a double ear infection and wasn't sleeping at night, my cat was throwing up all over the house and I had already gotten two calls from my son's school that week, she gave in. Did I mention there were tears? Relunctantly, she gave me the code and moved the cash. After all of that, I got the check back from the architect...I hadn't signed it before I mailed it to him! Nate summed the whole two weeks up by saying, "Things just aren't the same when Daddy's not here." Amen!

********************************************************
A family from our church hosts a Christmas celebration where you can have some quiet time with Santa and Mrs. Claus. Santa told the boys that Christmas is about love and that loving your brother and sister is so important because that's what Jesus would want us to do. I don't remember what he said, but Nate argued slightly with Santa...not suprising!

I thought for sure that Adrianna would put up a fight about sitting with a strange man in a big red suit, but as usual, she sat there calmly and quietly, and let me take a picture.

********************************************************

The boys spent some time on stage during a church service on the 12th. And of course, there were more tears shed by Mommy! I did get a few laughs, though, when Nate informed the congregation of the time in between songs. He was sure proud of the watch Daddy brought him back from Japan!

********************************************************

On the 22nd, we invited our nieces and nephews to Snapperz as a Christmas gift. Good times were had by all, I think, and the evening ended with three very tired kids in the Martin house! Matt and I also drifted off to sleep fairly easily that night!

Nieces Kali and Morgan playing a roller coaster game.

Nate and our nephew Caleb Michael playing a motorcycle game.

Our great nephew Ethan.

Niece Ali and her soon to be husband, Scott.

Our neices Brianna and Ashley and nephew Jeff (still getting used to saying that!)

Our nephew Caleb with Nate and Gabe on the blow up slide.

I tried to be intentional about getting pictures of everyone, and still failed! It was hard carrying around Adrianna all night with the camera and still trying to do fun things myself!

********************************************************

We spent Christmas Eve day at Matt's parents house. His mom and dad both had heart surgery in the last few months of the year, so we had a great time celebrating the holiday with them, thankful that they are both recovering well.

Christmas Eve evening, we had a visitor. He brought PJ's for the kids and told them how important it is that they go to bed early and stay in their beds until morning...works like a charm every year!

Nate mentioned about 10 things he wanted for Christmas, several of them being items that he never mentioned to us before! One of them being a Rocky the Robot Truck. Sorry, kid, you didn't let Santa know in time!

Gabe just kept asking for a crane and an ambulance. "What else do you want?" Santa asked. "A crane and an ambulance," Gabe said. "Okay, but what else." "A CRANE AND AN AMBULANCE!"

"I love my new jammies, Santa. They have cupcakes on them because that's what Mommy calls me. By the way, what is a cupcake?"

The kids got their jammies on quickly and after the company was gone, they were off to bed...without hesitation!!! Now, time for Santa to get to work!

********************************************************

Christmas morning began with opening presents at our house.

Most of Gabe's presents were Imaginext things...a dump truck, ambulance, fire truck, fire station, police car and police station.

Nate's been asking for a remote control R2D2 since August! Good job Santa!

A teaset!

A Nintendo DS! Yeah!

"I'm so happy!"

I have no idea how much candy he ate that morning! Matt said early in the afternoon, "Lets stop worrying about it...it's Christmas!"

That afternoon we went to my grandma and grandpa's house for some more presents and a BIG ITALIAN FEAST! YUM YUM YUM!

Yes, that's right. We do open presents in their garage! I must add that their garage floor is cleaner than most kitchen floors...including mine!

********************************************************

While discussing the upcoming New Year's festivities with Nate, he asked, "What's so special about New Years Eve?" I added, "It's the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 so we get to stay up late and party." "Why haven't we done that before?" "We have," I said. "You just don't remember." He finished with, "I would remember getting to stay up late. You and Daddy just like to party without your kids!" Although that statement couldn't be more accurate, I only remember one New Year's Eve since he's been born that we 'partied' without him!

We brought in the new year with good friends and some Guitar Hero and Mario Cart on the Wii! Of course, I didn't get any pictures that night! What was I thinking? I left my camera at home. You'll just have to take my word for it...a great evening!

********************************************************

To sum up this lengthly post, our holiday was more than perfect! Our family is happy and healthy and we got to spend a lot of time with people that we love. There was much laughter, playing in the snow, good food (including cinnimon rolls), and MANY memories! Cheers to the end of an amazing year and the beginning of an even better one!