I realize this is a long post, but when I was going through my journal and trying to decide what I wanted to include, I had a hard time leaving out a lot of it. So, you get A LOT!
Some of you have heard me express lately that my coping mechanism for dealing with emotion is out of whack. I’ve been known lately, and on a very regular basis, to cry at Progressive commercials (most people find Flo humorous…she brings me to tears), if my children don’t obey (because I think I’m failing as a mother) and if my husband doesn’t make eye contact with me at least…oh….100 times per day. In fact, one day last week, I was convinced that we were headed for divorce because he had forgotten to call or text me all day! The thought never crossed my mind that he may have just been busy doing his ‘job.’
To top it off, Nate must have decided this year that a good present to his parents would be that we develop a close and intimate relationship with the school administration at East Elementary!
For someone who was having difficulty coping with the little things, the big things that have been going on in our life right now were close to putting me over the edge. I joked (but it may not have been so funny) that if things got worse for me, emotionally, I’d be spending Thanksgiving in a mental institution.
When our friends Rob and Lisa, suggested that we go to a couples retreat at Miracle Camp, in Lawton Michigan, for an ENTIRE weekend, we were on board! The thought of having two entire nights of uninterrupted sleep was thrilling. Well, at least not an interruption of a child screaming for Mom or Dad in the middle of the night or waking up at 2 a.m. and finding that the kids had apparently forgotten they had a room of their own and turned the floor of our bedroom into one large pallet.
It may have been because I was so focused on the actual ‘getting away from home’ or because so much of coordinating the weekend was done by someone else, but until the beginning of our first session on Friday night, I had no idea that the focus would be on marriage AND PARENTING! At that point, we opened our mind and hearts and followed the lead of the One in charge. Big things were about to happen!
Rob said in his blog this week that, “The staff and volunteers serve you as an extension of the love that Christ shares.” You know what? That was the main lesson that I walked away with this weekend. The people who work at this camp are helping to provide an awesome experience for their guests. I had a terrible cold this weekend, which I think was a result of my emotional over load the past several weeks, and without me asking, one of the staff members went into town to get me some cold meds. I almost cried when she handed it to me (surprise, right?). It wasn’t too long before I made the connection with the way that the staff was treating their guests and the way that I treat my kids. Christ’s love? Not sure that I was doing my best to show that to my kids (at least not all of the time). I surely don’t want to show them this love when their terrorizing each other, running and screaming all over the house and when I want to lock them in a closet. Big things were happening.
On top of the spiritual and emotional growth that was happening for us, I was not preparing meals, only fixing 1 plate at each meal, experienced the zip line, high ropes, archery, trap, fellowship with some AMAZING people, and we also got to enjoy the extra hour of sleep that the time change gifted us on Sunday morning!
While on the platform of the high ropes, scared like I have never been before, we were trying to decide which way to go next. Another couple was finishing up their first attempt ands the woman said to me, “You can do this. Keep your eyes up.” I’ve thought of her words a least 100 times since that afternoon…some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten. Big things were happening.
So, we headed home with all of these great new ideas and concepts on how to better parent out kids, according to scripture. My friend Erin said, “What are you gonna do? We’re going home different and the kids will still be the same?” We thought about it and decided that a family meeting was appropriate. First off, when we told the kids we were having a family meeting, Nate started dancing around the room. It was like he was saying, “Yeah, my parents want to become better parents and we need this, too!” We told them why we were making some changes and the response was positive. I think things have changed, too. I realize that we’re still in the honeymoon phase, but we have 5 other couples to help keep us in check! Nate even noticed that things had been different and referred to our family as the ‘before retreat’ and ‘after retreat.’ Big things are happening.
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