Just another day in paradise

I suspect it was a man who came up with the estimated annual salary for a stay at home mom…just shy of $135,000. I’ll be honest, when I came across that number just a few months ago, I couldn’t help but laugh. Are you kidding me? I just saw an ad in the paper for a veterinarian at an animal hospital in Indianapolis with a salary of $140,000! Is one of the requirements for this vet job to be on call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year? No? Well, that is a requirement for this mom and I’m sure many others. Don’t we get overtime for that? Although I didn't actually recieve a college degree in motherhood, I do get on the job training and my position requires much more knowledge and know how than a vet (at least I think it does). Now, I realize that I signed up for this job…but only $135,000? Is that all I’m worth?

I’m up before the kids, unless the baby wakes me earlier than 6:15. If that’s the case, I start the day nursing my bundle of joy with my eyes closed and before my morning coffee. I think she understands and usually cooperates by going back to sleep, at least until her brothers rise. I shower and put on my clothes, which usually consist of some kind of stretchy pants or shorts and a tank top or t-shirt. Most days I do put on some make-up, acknowledging that if I didn’t, I may scare the kids with my ghostly complexion. Next up…make coffee for me and prepare breakfast for the boys. Right about this time, Gabe is heading downstairs to tell me that his night light turned off and it’s time to wake up Nate. He insists on being the one to break the news to his big brother that the pleasure of snuggling in his bed must end…it’s time to get ready for school. I usually spend 25 of the next 30 minutes convincing Nate that he must eat something before going to school or he’ll be hungry all morning. I then spend the next 5 minutes encouraging him to QUICKLY get dressed, brush his teeth and put on his shoes. All the while quizzing him on spelling words. As Nate runs out the door to catch the bus at the end of our driveway, I yell something like, “Make good choices,” or “remember the golden rule,” (If you know Nate, you know why I can’t remind him of these things enough) and finish with an even louder, “I love you,” as the bus doors close.

Right about this time, Adrianna is waking up, (for the second time) and Gabe is insisting on watching a Curious George cartoon. I turn on the cartoon for Gabe and head upstairs. What? Gabe changed his mind…no surprise. “I want to open da door,” he says as he realizes that I’m about to get Adrianna. He quickly runs ahead of me and shouts, “Good morneeen suga!” He barges in and blinds her by turning on the lights. Soon, diaper #2 has been changed and nursing session #2 is over. Finally, I get to drink my coffee. Nope! “Mom, I’m done,” Gabe calls from the bathroom. I was so close.

The next four hours consist of laundry, cleaning up from breakfast, quarrelling with Gabe about how he won’t be cold if he’ll put on something besides underwear, playing a few board games, trains, and monster trucks, singing silly songs and being the voice of a stuffed animal for Adrianna, and changing another diaper. I fix chicken nuggets, yogurt, and a banana for Gabe’s lunch, tell him 10 times to sit down until he’s done, spoon feed Adrianna some rice cereal, clean off two faces and four hands, wipe off the counter and highchair, load the dishwasher, change another diaper and nurse Adrianna…AGAIN! One kid in bed, one to go! I threaten Gabe to potty one last time so that I don’t have to spend the evening washing sheets, or he won’t get a rocket ship ride up to bed, and after a few stories and a 15 minute conversation about why he has to have quiet time when it’s not dark, the house is finally quiet. I know I have at least one hour before the noise level rises again.

I switch the laundry, straighten up the living room, have a quick lunch, check my e-mail to see if Nate’s been in trouble at school, let the dog out, decide whether to clean out or throw away the sippy cup I just found in the toy box that’s have full of milk (I have no idea how long it’s been in there), choose what to make for dinner, put away some clothes and then call Matt. Finally…some adult conversation. “How’s your day?” he asks. “Fine,” I say. “How’s yours?” “Busy,” he adds. “I made an appointment to take my car in for an oil change tonight after work. I won’t be home until 8:30. Okay?” I want to scream at him and tell him that I may already be in a state of withdrawal from lack of adult interaction by that time, but instead, I say, “Okay,” with a little frustration in my voice. We hang up and I change my mind about dinner. How about pancakes for the kids? If I drench them in peanut butter and syrup, I won't have to argue with either one of them about taking, "just 3 more bites." I put on my tennis shoes and start my work out. After about 5 minutes, Adrianna is crying and Gabe wakes up.

Shortly after, Nate’s off the bus and informs me that he got an orange card today because someone told on him for something he didn’t do. “You didn’t do it?” I just want to make sure I heard him correctly. “Well, I did do it, but Jack was doing it, too.” Of course…how did I know? After a quick snack, we spend the next two hours doing homework, reading and practicing spelling words. I spend 1 ½ of those two hours convincing Nate that he won’t die writing his spelling words 3 times each. All the while, Adrianna is playing on the floor, finding every little hot wheel tire and micro machine. Why can’t that kid just stay on the blanket? Gabe also adds to the chaos by wanting me to carry every toy we have from his room down to the living room, which only reminds me that we still haven’t sold our house and are at least 6 months away from being in our new home. “Oh no!” Gabe yells. “Adwianna poopied on the flooo!” I guess she gets a new diaper and new clothes. Oh well. It was time to get her out of her jammies, anyway!

After feeding Adrianna again and another diaper change, I get dinner together, get the boys fed, clean up, load the dishwasher, switch the laundry, clean peanut butter off of the kitchen wall, play UNO, Candyland, trains, and fire trucks with the boys, pretend to be The Cookie Monster, and dance around the house to the ABC song, If you’re happy and you know it, and This old man, all while carrying around a 22 pound 7 month old. I console my 3 year old after falling, busting his lip and biting his tongue, all while his nose is gushing. I help the boys take a bath, give Adrianna hers in the sink, and get everyone in their PJ’s. I read two stories to the kids, listen to Nate read a story to us, have another 10 minute debate with Gabe about why it’s bedtime, talk to Nate about why it’s important to obey and be respectful (we have this discussion often) and then, finally, Matt's home to save the day. Luckily, he helps me get the boys to bed. I do get to watch a DVR’d episode of Oprah while nursing Adrianna, AGAIN, and then, get her to bed.

I finish the day by laying out clothes for the kids and making sure Nate’s folder, book order and library book are in his backpack. I then clear a path from my bedroom to the living room and Adrianna’s bedroom in case I have to get up in the middle of the night. I don’t want to step on a Thomas train or monster truck while getting up for a 3 am feeding. Which reminds me, “God, please help Adrianna to sleep all night.” I go wash my face, brush my teeth, and lay down on the couch. That’s the last thing I remember before Matt waking me up about eleven and saying, “Let’s go to bed.” I stagger into the bedroom, get under the covers and am excited about the next 7 hours. “Amanda, Adrianna is crying.” “Crap!” I guess it will have to be 6 ½ hours of sleep. When she wakes up again at 3:30, I realize that 6 ½ was just wishful thinking…it will have to be 6 hours of sleep…in two shifts!

I have to argue with whoever came up with that $135,000 salary estimation for a stay at home mom. That dollar amount is not only a joke because of the amount of work I did as a housekeeper, a cook, a nurse, a teacher, and a friend. That amount seems incredibly low because my compensation is worth so much more. I was there to hear Gabe tell me that I was his best friend and I didn’t have to miss Adrianna sitting up on her own for the first time from a crawling position (a big milestone in my opinion). I was also there to talk with Nate right after he got home from school, when the day was still fresh in his mind. He told me about playing the Wii with the principal, being the line leader on the way to lunch and building a house with magnets during indoor recess. I was there for every smile, laugh, tear, milestone, and even every argument between the boys. I couldn’t imagine a more perfect day. My kids are healthy, happy, and I got to spend my entire day with them. Also, my husband is loving, respectful, and hard working! Does it get any better? I think there is a song that describes my frenzied, unorganized, must be a hidden camera somewhere, life…Just another day in paradise.



By the way, I'm putting all this together in the middle of the night...the only time it's quiet and I can sit still for more than 5 minutes! Why can't I sleep?